Jack has been struggling the last couple of weeks with preparing for his surgery. I have been completely honest with him about what is going to happen, the pain involved, the hospital stay, and what he's going to wear for months afterwards. I'm not going to sugar-coat what he's going to go through. He's a smart kid and I don't want him to resent me afterwards for telling him, "it's just going to pinch a little." It's going to hurt like heck, so I told him that.
Years ago, Jon and I watched the movie, "Little Miss Sunshine." Great movie, I highly recommend it. Anyway, in the movie, the mom calls them a "pro-honestly family" and they are. Jon and I thought that was a great idea and like to think of ourselves as "pro-honesty". We try to make the truth kid-friendly, but we always tell the truth. The few things we do lie about are the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, and Santa. I plan on lying to them about Santa until they are 16.
So, anyway...he knows what's coming. He's scared and very anxious. Most nights at bedtime, he tells me he's been thinking of his surgery all day. Of course, this breaks my heart...but I understand, it's always on my mind too. I have been asking him what he wants me to do...does he want me to tell him things to make him better? or, does he want me to lay there with him and be sad too? Sometimes he wants me to make him feel better...I'll tell him he's very brave, mommy and daddy will be there the whole time, I think he's going to do great, I'm very proud to be his mommy, and when it's all over, we'll all be very happy he did it.
It's very hard to watch him struggle, but we are very relieved that he's mature enough to recognize his feelings and verbalize them.
We promised Jack that when this was over with, we would take a family vacation anywhere he wanted to go. It has been very amusing to watch him make this big decision. First, he wanted to go to Hawaii after watching an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8. Then, he wanted to go to Mexico to swim with dolphins (his dream!) He's finally decided on Disney World with a day trip to Discovery Cove http://discoverycove.com/DCO2/ I'm not sure who is more excited about the trip, Jack or us!
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wouldn't it be cool if we could all meet up there. If I wish hard enough...
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that you are pro-honesty! I see too many families the opposite (BIL's included - and that makes life pretty hard at times!) How great that Jack is talking to you about his feelings and you are making a plan of action! And I'd love to go to Discovery Cove too! It's on our list when the girls are old enough!!!
ReplyDeleteI am reading this again and recalling how well Jack did at school during the weeks of preparation. He did talk about his upcoming surgery but always in a positive light. He also kept as busy as ever and stayed focused on his work. As always did his best work!
ReplyDeleteHe is absolutely a remarkable kid and I must say I feel the same about his parents.